The Gratitude List

IMG_3420 (2)We celebrate one year of living in our beautiful sandbag house. And we want to say thank you. So from my mom, my sister and I, three long gratitude lists.

My mom:

My conversations with God, as I sat behind my mobile ‘s wheel, was often in the vein of ” Dear God, what are we going to do? I retire one of these days, and I do not have a place of my own” That is how I started believing in something that at the time sounded impossible.

Two years after we started building, I moved in. I can not describe to anyone how happy and comfortable I am in my home. It was not easy.

I have a great and sincere desire to say thank you. First to a Hand that looked over us and then to everyone who stopped and gave advice. The architect who told Susan to move the room windows , the builder who stopped to show us how to measure out the foundation, when I for the umpteenth time laid out the same line. That man, I have never seen again. To all my children’s friends who so selflessly came to help. Their names are mentioned.

To Ozzies and Buco for all their advice and guidance. Francois of Ozzies who made his premises available where we could treat all the frames. A thousand thanks goes to all my friends who helped physically, with advice, food, moral support, tools borrowed or whatever contribution, thank you.

Koot and Sarie who made and installed the burglar bars and the iron gate free of charge. Jim and Maureen for all the advice and Jim for not getting angry about his aluminium ladder that was stolen from our house and the insurance did not want to pay out. Jenny and Jean Joubert that often popped in to observe and give advice as I laboured to finish the shower. Thank you Jean for the Rosewood. Marietta and Rob for so much. Thank you Marietta for the food and the open trusses on the top floor. Thank you Rob that Susan could always rely on you, especially when the workers became unreasonable.

To Mervin White who had the Telkom poles cut down for me on his farm, stored them and had it transported, on his cost. Thank you Henry and Adri du Plessis for storing the poles for probably more than a year. Thanks to Andre, our fifth electrician, that came to fix all the mistakes, finally an electrician that was worth it! Thank you for the truth window “shutter” that you made, we love it. Margaret for all the many sand bags you filled, many days you made my day. Anne and Brian who still helps to finish the house. Thanks for the special instinct you have for my home. Thank you Shannon and Jenny, you have just always been there for me and for stress release. Lumin and Chris , the two of you just came on my way at the right time. I could not have asked for more perfect artists to beautify my house. Marissa who captured the building process from start to finish on her camera. To Johan Muller for all his support in helping us fight Goliath and retain our “picket fence”. To my support group for all the prayers. Thank you Izak for putting my children and myself on your prayer list every single day.

A big thank you to my children. Anneke, Susan and Jakkie. We started with everyone giving a bit of money, and when the first bit of the soil of the foundation was picked up, I almost burst into tears.

My children were incredible. I could only stare, in disbelief, what they could do with drills , hammers, levels, nails, screws etc. To this day I do not know where they gained the skills. I watched, incredulous, how Susan kept doing research her exact way of implementing it. She remained focused and determined to complete the project successfully, and which she achieved, despite the skepticism of so many people. In many aspects I have learned much more from my children than I ever could teach them.Thank you to the three of you, I love you so much.

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From my sister:

I remember one of the first major conversations that we had with regards to building a house for my mom. Major, as in with this conversation I realized it was actually going to happen. Susan was still in Cape Town busy working with the NRI, I was doing my Honn in PE and my mom was in Jeffreys Bay, her happy place, where she always will be. We went to a restaurant in Sea Views and bit by bit we started planning this house, this vision, this mountain, on small A3 pieces of paper. Sue suggested we each write down our fears as we go on and I remember my first one (and my biggest one) was that the end of this project, my family would hate each other. I mean, I knew that we were close, but doing something like this together was next level, I am sure even the Brady bunch would crack at even just the thought of this. But low and behold, a few years later, my mom is in the house, my sister has her sanity back and yes, we are still talking.

It was one hell of an experience, not only because we were way over our heads right from the beginning, but with building in general, you are constantly faced with situations where you literally don’t know what the hell to do. For this, I have to thank my sister Susan. From the beginning this was her wonderful idea, to build a house for my mom so that one day she can retire without the stress of not having somewhere to stay. I mean seriously, what an awesome human being. Susan is literally the best person on this planet. She sacrificed so much, moving from Cape Town to Jbay, leaving her dearest friends, looking for employment to help fund the project, being the project manager, builder, labour relations consultant, cook, financial manager….anything you can think of, my sister did it. Without anyone asking her to do it, and without expecting a thank you in return. She was the one spending late nights going through books, reading things on the internet, asking everyone for advice. The scientist that embarked on becoming a builder. The hours that she put in on site, the battles that she had to fight on her own, the endless stress and worries, I do not know how she did it. But she did. Her labour of love pulled through and the result is absolutely amazing. There is not enough thank you’s in the world for what she has done for my mom and the legacy that she created. Words fail me when it comes to her, but we are blessed just to be in her presence.

I also remember when people asked my mom who is building for her, she would smile from ear to ear whilst replying: “My daughter Susan”. Not once did she question her abilities or the changes that she made. Not once did she say “No, you can’t do this.” My mom, with her utmost faith in the One above, supported my sister and told everyone she will do this. She is the perfect example of one of those Voortrekker vrouens that ran barefoot across the mountains. One December, she sat in front of a pile of sand that was literally almost the size of half the plot, she sat there, day in and day out, filling bags and bags until she almost disappeared, only getting up for water and eating. This persistence carried us through this whole process, her words simply echoing “Ons sal (We will)”. And luckily, she is still going strong, the house is literally blossoming since she moved in, every weekend something is changing, a painting is being hanged, a door is being fixed, the garden is thriving (with an abundance of veggies and flowers), the grass is being cut and and and and. My mom is amazing. When I look at her and how incredible she is, I remember why we decided to do this for her in the first place.

Throughout the process there were many other people that supported us that I would really like to thank:

Anneke and Fritz: For being there when no one else was. For always helping, either by fixing something or for just listening. For endless advice and support. For thinking we were crazy but for being there regardless.

My wonderful friends: Simone Ferreira, Shaula Greyvenstein, Lucinda Erasmus, Lucinda and Stephan Neethling, Jeanette Strydom, Jeanine du Plessis, Regardt Landman, Malan Joubert, Ettiene Stevens, Tess Rautenbach, Kalinka Lombard, Betsi van Zyl, Isabeau Joubert, Markie Paarman, Willie Erasmus, Mike Hemsley, Carin Steyn. For listening, for the support, for all the encouragement, for proving shelters when I had to get away, for sitting with me when I cried, for providing endless beers and laughter, for just being the best and being there.

Ryan Allen: For all the inspiration, the volunteering, the belief in the project, the good vibes, the energy…the awesomeness.

To all my mom’s friends: Tannie Marietta en Oom Rob, Oom Louis en Tannie Marisa, Clive, Shannon, Margaret, Maureen, Jim, Oom Koot en Tannie Sarie, Jenny en Johnny, Tannie Denise en Tannie Elmari, die omgee groep that supported us with their prayers, everyone that supported my mom and my sister through every up and down.

The girls and guys from Ozzies and Buco. Often we would wander in asking for something that we didn’t even know how to explain (that square thing that fits into the ceiling that goes into the corner) and they would smile and help us with such kindness that we often felt blessed.

Lumin and Chris: For making the house feel and also look, like my mom. I don’t know how you did it, but every little detail represents her. You had such a big contribution in making the place feel like a home.

The entire Jbay community. Everywhere we went, people would ask us about the house and in general be so supporting. The lady where we got our paper bags from, the old oom that randomly stopped me because he recognized the bakkie. Everyone that gave us things for free, from driftwood, to cow manure, to food, to advice…Jbay is such a special place and the community support was so humbling.

To my dad, thank you for raising tough cookies.

The One above and all his helpers. Thank You for taking care of my family, for keeping us safe, for sending the right people along the way. We are blessed with Your grace.

Lastly, to all the assholes that thought we couldn’t do it. Sucks to be you.

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 From me:

My mom moved into her very own home exactly, almost to the day, two years after we started building it. Two years seem like a long time, but consider that we built only when we had cash and time available and that our work involved a lot of pioneering trial-and-error experimenting. The strange part of moving in was that the house was not completely done. We still had to finish a shower, finish the plastering around the switchboard, put doors in on the upstairs section, build a balcony and so on. When I mentioned this to friends, those with building experience response was that yes, a building is never finished. It took some time absorbing this information. I had dreamt of building a house, and once it was finished, handing it over to my mom. But now, almost 9 months after my mom has moved in, she is still working at finishing the house. A little something here, another little something there. But she is living in her own house and the joy it gives her beautifying it is lovely to witness.

I never realized what an undertaking building a house is. It is HUGE. Then throw in on top of that, building it yourself with a fairly unknown sandbag technology and going even further with plastering it with natural materials…… you got yourself a damn big, challenging endeavor. Towards the end of the project, my mom and sister’s words of encouragement consistently rang along the theme of “Don’t worry, we won’t do this again, ever and we are almost there.”

The other strange thing about building is to experience how the building changes. When you mark out the building lines, it looks so small, when the walls go up it looks so big, but nothing compares you to the changes that happens when the lights go on and the furniture comes in. All of a sudden it transforms into a home.

So much happened in that two years. Parts of it was filled with so much support from friends and family and parts of it was lonely, rainy, cold and required a lot of determination to keep going.

I want to thank some of the help along the way. My friends came to help us build over the first Christmas holidays. Carly Tanur, only slightly bigger than a sandbag herself gave up her entire holiday to help build our house and create this blog. She developed some muscle, smaller than peanuts, and was very impressed by them. Janna Kretzmar, drove down to support my big project with words affirming that she’s coming, I should not worry, after I phoned her in a slight panic to say: “You are coming right?” Stef Skupin and Alex Eppel, raised two twin girls among filling sand bags and building frames, all over their holiday break. You guys are so amazing, living in my small house over your holiday, thank you. Alex’s friend from the USA, Jo and his partner, a girl from Germany whose name I have forgotten, jumped in to help. A blind lady came to fill bags for a day with the support of one of her friends, Diane. Fritz Joubert, started me off on the frames, a hand always on one of his hips, he taught me how to calculate levels, sponsored our unique submarine doors, cooked ridiculously good food and much much much more. Oom Louis, who came to save the day when I couldn’t get the door frames square. The builder whose name I never got, who stopped and taught me how to mark out square things. Anthony Wolf and Jean Joubert who came and provided some technical knowledge.

Michael Hemsley for straightening the long wall after I sunk into tears, with a string. I was dubious, but your logic saved the day. Also for managing a tricky construction project, after I explained how to do it over skype with some sketchy drawings and driving me to site in the middle of a rainy night because I could not sleep, to check on our house. Anneke, my sister who came to help after I told her it is so lonely out there. Her company was as always, a lot of fun. Teresa and Norbert, Miriam, Brandon, Tanja Lategan, Ryan Allen, Miriam for popping in. Anna Shevel for help with a building plan, cause planning breaks it down. Andre my soon to be architect friend, who volunteered with manpower and a lot of brains. Elisabeth Meiring – you always just think I am amazing. Also, all the builders who attended our course, they jumped in and contributed so much. Jillian Hogan, the expert natural builder, with great skill in explaining and encouraging. Oom Rob Buchanen, my second dad, sometimes swearing for having to help again, and threatening me with death if I did not return his borrowed tools, but with a heart more gold that you can imagine, and after his initial cursing phase had subsided, helped us over and over again. His wife, tannie Marietta for all the words of encouragement and all the love. Markie Paarman for providing me with support during the second year of building. When I was drifting out at sea, Markie, you were a rock, I am forever in your debt, your friendship supported me so much. Simmie, Tess, Shaula, Jeanette Strydom, Lucy Erasmus, Isabeau Joubert, Malan, Ettiene, Betsi, oom Charl, Jeanine du Plessis, you carried my sister and me with so much love.

Oom Geoff was my right hand man and sent by God, to whom he often prayed for on our behalf. His prayers can bring tears to your eyes. A reliable stalwart, he would work on his own for many days, sometimes in unpleasant weather conditions. You would never say he was 90% blind, he guided me so many times.

My co-builders my mom and sister. My sister Jakkie, put in a lot of elbow grease. She often came to site, to help, when it was the place she wanted to be least in the world. On occasion she would also fire people when they needed to be fired, and would then grab a hammer and declare: “We will do it ourselves!” which perplexed and frightened me somewhat, but resulted in a new skill learnt, despite it sometimes being a steep, frustrating learning curve. My mom had an amazing ability of always speaking positively and supporting me. Never in the two years of building did she say anything other than we are going to do it and that I’m doing a good job of it. She is an amazing example of what can be done, when you simply believe you are going to do it. And of a mother’s love, believing in her daughter, beyond the call of duty.

Thanks also goes to all the skeptics and critics. You will not believe how such beliefs inspires one to keep going, fueling the fire of perseverance. One guy told me, we are all just watching and waiting for it to fail. I thought I did not hear him correctly, but he repeated himself. Oh, I said, ok. To such persons, I guess I would like to invite you for a cuppa on the stoep. No walls have moved, nothing leaks, no, to any other doubtful question you might have. The most common response we get from visitors is: “it feels nice”. Like you can’t put your finger on it exactly, but you want to linger.

And thank you for the Grace. My Guide. Constantly making me aware that I am held and blessed.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Elizabeth Meiring on January 14, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    You are AMAZING :-)

    Reply

  2. Posted by Ursula on January 14, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    It has been wonderful following your journey.. I would have loved more pics and step by steps maybe, but when one is working so hard at keeping everything together, I imagine it was difficult enough to blog as much as you did :) I am about to embark on the same journey, building my house and factory in sandbags… I am immensely excited and will be running initially on my own steam as I start to convince my husband and kids.. hihihi.. they’re slowly coming around though and I believ they’ll be converted ;)
    Well done and thank you for sharing it all .

    Reply

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